One Witch's PantheaCons

PantheaCon 2013 "Crones"
rear l-r: Magenta Griffin, Rachael Watcher, Macha NightMare, Selena Fox,
Vivianne Crowley, Margot Adler; front Anna Korn, Glenn Turner

I’m annoyed that the comments for the post on The Wild Hunt are closed only two days after its publication.  I had stuff to say.  I’ve been to many a Pcon, and have been there in various capacities, both inside organizing as a volunteer and as a presenter.  Thus, I’ll share what I had wanted to say, and more, on this blog.

The first year, in downtown San Jose, not near the airport, I helped run the Green Room and had a role in Reclaiming’s Brigit ritual there.  

Over the years, I’ve had panels that have had people sitting in the aisles and spilling out the doorway.  (Pagan Clergy, Death & Dying, et al.)  I’ve been a functionary in rituals others created and presented some of my own. (big Brigit ritual written by Laurel Olson Mendez, 19 priestesses; “Witchual: A Spell”; Oracles from the LivingTarot – really screwed up on that one; et al.)

The year 2000 CE saw the first performance of three of Goddesses Alive! using Lauren Raine’s gorgeous goddess masks, in celebration of the late Abby Willowroot’s Goddess 2000 project, at the old Jack Tar Hotel in San Francisco.  This ritual, in a much more polished form, was performed again that December at New College of California (RIP), and had its final performance at the Parliament of the World’s Religions in Salt Lake City in 2015 — one of the great honors of my life.  

One year when it was at the Oakland Convention Center I headed the volunteers.  It was not a good experience for me, sorry to say, since my efforts were stymied by arbitrary interference, to the point where I would never again volunteer there.

Cherry Hill Seminary presented symposia the day before the Con began three or four years, thanks to PantheaCon's Glenn Turner’s offering us rooms in which to hold them.  One year we even managed a CHS hospitality suite shared with the House of Danu.

Our Predecessors

In 2008, we did a Besom Brigade -- thank you, Steven Posch -- in the DoubleTree lobby.  

My “Growing Pagan Elders” study was rejected three years in a row, for reasons unknown.  I had originally conducted this study for presentation at the Claremont Conference on Current Pagan Studies, and I’ve been paid to present it elsewhere.  It was a lot of work and was about something we as Pagans were facing as our movement matured.  I got over 700 responses on my open-ended survey on Survey Monkey.  By “open-ended” I mean I left lots of space for narrative,

Finally, after three years, I was given the 9 am Monday time slot, when everyone has left or is preparing to do so.  So who was sitting in my very unsexy presentation that year?  Margot Adler, Selena Fox, Ivo Dominguez, Michael Smith, Amber and Azrael K, and other leaders, so I guess it was interesting enough for them.  Hmm, do I sound bitter about that?  

After that I quit submitting proposals, except for sitting on a panel now and then, and just attended so I could visit old, seldom seen friends, attend a ritual or presentation as they interested me and if they were led by a friend – in which case I knew they’d be good.

Some years I was away at another Pagan gathering the same weekend.  Last year I didn’t go because of the furor and dysfunction.  

This year I was given the 7 pm Friday evening time slot, a time when many had not yet arrived, for another unsexy talk on creating Pagan infrastructure called “Have Paganisms Gone Mainstream? The Spiritual Meets the Secular.”  To my surprise, we had a full house, a double room that was one full room and about 1/3 of the spill-out room, maybe 50 people.  Of course, I forgot to ask someone to take photos and forgot to pass around a sign-up sheet.  Discussion was so lively that Con staff had to throw us out of the room for the next talk, and I got lots and lots of positive feedback throughout the rest of the Con.  Very satisfying.

I do applaud and appreciate Glenn for creating these opportunities to create Pagan culture.  'Back in the day' that creation and cross-fertilization was done in the context of outdoor camping festivals, especially in the South and Midwest.  My theory about why there were so few on the West Coast was that we are already liberal and accepting and don’t need to sneak off for private meetings where we weren’t jeopardized by the threat of outing.  PantheaCon has played a major role in the cross fertilization and evolution of contemporary American Pagan culture.

Hanging with My Peeps at PCon

Don Frew, Macha, Richard Reidy of the Temple of Ra

This year’s PantheaCon nourished me.  I printed out a schedule ahead of time of events on the official schedule, as distinct from the many programs being offered in various suites throughout the weekend, that I wanted to be sure to attend.  I left plenty of space for serendipitous encounters.

I knew I had some responsibilities in the Pagan Scholars’ Den -- I dislike that term – for both Cherry Hill Seminary and the Pagan History Project with which I’m involved.  And I was scheduled to sit on one panel, “Tradition vs. Innovation.”  Beyond those things, I was open to see what arose.

Arrived Thursday evening in order to avoid morning commute traffic and my tendency to retire late and sleep late.  My first dip in the brew was attending a panel called “The Good, the Bad, & the Blogging,” featuring Patheos bloggers.  The varied panel gave a good cross-section bloggers on topics of interest to Pagans.  I was especially happy to make the acquaintance of one blogger whose work I admire and try to read when I can; that would be John Halstead who writes The Allergic Pagan.  Nothing to do with allergies, rather because he has a find mind and writes thought-provoking blogs

For reasons I don’t recall I missed several Friday evening offerings, including concerts by Celia Farran, Ruth Barrett, and Holly Tannen.  I’m a fan of all three women and rarely miss their local appearances.

I don’t usually attend much in the way of rituals, maybe only one to three over the course of a long weekend, meaning I missed “Hekate: Witness and Ally” and “The Rite of Grand Convergence.”  The latter interested me because it was an offering of Black Rose Witchcraft, whom I view as Craft cousins, though I must say the title of the ritual is rather grand.

I spent a good while in the Pagan Scholars suite, where Angela Pearson supplied me with Jameson’s.  I’m not much of a drinker, but I do enjoy an occasional, say annual, alcohol high.  Cole and Allie and I took a break in the parking lot, then went up to Clifford Hartleigh Low’s fantastic Green Fairy Party, where the host himself escorted me to the front of a very long line in the hallway and into the scene of festivity.

And whom should I see as soon as I entered but Erik Davis wearing a little feathered green cap and looking like Robin Hood.  Our paths had last crossed when he talked about ‘weird’ at the Brainwash Café at the same event where my grandson Ian Kappos was reading.  On the infrequent occasions when we meet, we always seem to have plenty of information to exchange, at least from my perspective.

On Saturday morning I missed Brandy Williams’ talk on “Lives of Pagan Teachers”; well, I did manage to get there for the last half hour, but it was all over and the room empty by then.

Unfortunately, the panel on “Tradition vs. Innovation” was scheduled at the same time as one on prison ministry.  I have plenty of experiences to share with regard to the latter, and would have benefitted from talking with others who are doing similar work; however, I haven’t yet mastered the skill of bilocation, so sat on the former panel.

As to “Tradition vs. Innovation,” I hope I conducted myself well and spoke with clarity and conviction.  Some of us panelists did find instances where we reflected and enriched each other’s commentary.  I found this especially heartening when it occurred with younger Pagans like Lou Florez. 

Went to Richard Reidy’s talk, “Ancient Magic for the Modern World – A Kemetic View” and did a spell that seems to be working.  Richard, of the Temple of Ra, always offers well-planned and informative presentations

“Babalon Rising: Jack Parsons’ Witchcraft Prophecy.”  I found this talk by Erik Davis   fascinating.  Not only did he tease his threads out to include mention of W.I.T.C.H. (Women’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell), but even more, he cited my late friend Sequoia as a later manifestation of this current (to mix metaphors).  She would have been thrilled.  Old-time Pagans like Murtagh AnDoile, Elizabeth TigerRose, and Magenta Griffin had plenty to contribute to the follow-up discussion.  Great fun!

Gary Suto joined me for “Katabasis: Descent to the Underworld” a drag show performed by the Circle of Dionysus in the weird-vibed abandoned disco club on site.  This performance involved another spell that I think is working.  We met Erishkigal, Persephone, and even Aphrodite down there in the Underworld.  The amazing original sinnerjee filked the Village People’s “YMCA” around the theme of conversion therapy, the chorus being, “Why am I gay?”

I enjoyed plenty of party-hopping during the evening hours. 

Talked shop about working with inmates within the prison system with Christopher Penczak in the Temple of Witchcraft hospitality suite.

Met with others in the CoG suite concerning attending the Parliament of World Religions in Salt Lake City in October.

Enjoyed socializing in the ADF suite with Sean Harbaugh and others.

Macha, Kristoffer Hughes, Kat Sanborn

Hung with authors in the Llewellyn hospitality suite, for fun conversations with Kristoffer Hughes and Sonja Sadovsky in particular.

Enjoyed hanging with Sisters Krissy Fiction, Shomie D. Goods, Hera Sees Candy, and other sisters both in and out of Sister drag.  I was delighted to find and old/new friend in Sister Lilith of the Valley of the Shadow of Death with whom I share friends and experiences from the 1980s and ‘90s.   We had a reflective talk about Raven Moonshadow at the Pagan Alliance party warmly hosted by JoHanna White.

Sister Krissy, Macha, Sister Hera Sees Candy, Derik Cowan

Blessed with a fine new friend, Jon Drum of ADF, whom I expect to be more involved with Cherry Hill Seminary.

On my last night there I joined hundreds for Orion Foxwood’s “The Flame in the Cauldron: The Awakened Spirit of the Witch.”  It’s been years since I’ve attended any of Orion’s presentations, mainly because they have such long lines and I cannot stand for long periods.  This year, however, I finally accepted the fact that as an older person with some physical limitations, I could go to the front of the line and enter ahead of the main crowd.  What a wonderful talk, concluded with ritual chanting!  Thus began the third spell of the weekend for me, connecting with and reviving the witch blood.

There are many other reports out here in cyberspace on the goings-on at this year’s PantheaCon that focus on the experiences of People of Color.  I did not witness any of the incidents they are talking about. 

Bear in mind, dear reader, that this annual event consists of about 10 or 12 simultaneous official events around the clock and perhaps 2,500 attendees on ten floors.  That doesn’t count the many offerings in various suites during those same limited hours – alas! only 24 in a day. 

I had many more experiences, encountered so many other dear friends, old and new, than I can mention in one blog post.  This is my digest.

This is my personal experience – and this year was wonderful for me.

Remembering Margot Adler

Much has been posted in both mainstream and Pagan media about the untimely death of Margot Adler.  People have spoken about the many ways she as influenced them, about her teachings, her personality, her inestimable contributions.  Just to round out the picture with yet another perspective, I share her some remembrances.  Because what is remembered lives.

I first heard of Margot when I found Drawing Down the Moon on a shelf in a local bookstore in 1979.  I took it off the shelf and skimmed through it and what do you know?  There was a chapter called “Interview with a Modern Witch” about my friend Sharon Devlin Folsom.  And there on the cover was my friend Anna Korn, clearly identifiable in the photo of the handfasting of Isaac Bonewits and Selene Kumin.

I was friends with both Anna and Sharon by way of the Institute of Celtic Studies here in the SF Bay Area.  Until that time, I was unaware that either was Pagan.  Since that time, Anna and I have shared lots of projects together (in the context of CoG as well as with a former incarnation of Reclaiming Collective), and Sharon and I have done a few rituals together.  All three of us have remained friends.

However, it wasn’t until I went to the first CoG MerryMeet on the East Coast, at Rowe Conference Center in Massachusetts that Margot and I met.  By that time my late coven sister Bone Blossom had been living in Connecticut and connecting with all manner of NELCCOG (North East Local Council, now defunct).  I seem to remember that it was Bone who introduced us.  What I remember more clearly is that Margot had heard of a ritual that Sharon, Bone, and I had brewed up and performed at Ancient Ways a year or three prior.  That ritual, entitled “Kali and Other Dark Goddesses,” seems to have had a profound effect on many people who participated.[1]  In any case, Margot in NYC had heard of it and so had my late friend Sequoia when she was traveling in India.  So I had the thrill of being introduced to Margot, this prominent Pagan whose work I had admired, and she already knew something of me.

We maintained a casual friendship over the years, much like many who may read this.  We encountered each other at events.  She had me over for bagels and coffee at her NYC apartment one time.

Sometime around 2000, both the late Judy Harrow and I both became involved with the incipient Cherry Hill Seminary, thanks to the machinations of Cat Chapin-Bishop.  Margot was Judy’s Gardnerian teacher/initiator/elevator.  In addition to being a well-respected and –loved Witch in the Northeast and beyond, Judy was also Craft mother to another of the founders of CHS, Laura Wildman-Hanlon,  So I’m assuming, although if I knew at the time I don’t recall now, that that is the route by which Margot came to support the seminary.  However, it happened, Margot has been a consistent voice in support of CHS.  For the past several years she has served on the Board of Advisors, where I’m currently proud and honored to serve with her.

Thanks to my dear friend and literary mentor, the late Patricia Monaghan, Margot suspended her standing policy of not providing cover blurbs, and wrote one for my first solo writing effort, Witchcraft and the Web.  She wrote, in part, “…she deftly shows the impact of the Web on the Craft – how it is hanging the religion’s notions of authority, leadership, authenticity, and even the way rituals are conducted.”  I’ve included the quote here because it’s germane to our shared observations about the expansion and new understandings of Paganism in our cyber age.

One of the people Margot quoted frequently in DDTM (the first edition; I don’t know about subsequent ones) was our mutual friend, the late Alison Harlow.  Although Alison was Margot’s senior by a few years, they first bonded over the fact that both of them attended a progressive City and Country Grammar School in Greenwich Village when they were children.  Alison lived in my area of the country.  Our two then-covens, Holy Terrors and Wings of Vanthi, sometimes circled together, and both of us were active on CoG.

As sometimes happens when someone is in the process of leaving this plane, their loved ones get weird.  Alison was a Witch, a fact that some consider prima facie evidence of weirdness, or at least oddness.  In any case, Alison’s loved ones experienced some intramural, if you will, discord at the time of her passing.  Feelings were raw.  Margot was in NYC and I was in Northern California, and further, I was not among those attending to Alison.  I guess I was sort of a neutral yet engaged party.  Both Margot and I paid close attention to any news about Alison’s condition.  She and I had several phone conversations about what was happening surrounding Alison’s dying and in the days following her passing.  There’s nothing like sharing in someone’s birthing or dying to bond people.

In another context, I remember a wonderful and very noisy dinner with about eight Pagan scholars (and their groupies, such as myself) during the AAR Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, city of my childhood.  Some of those in attendance were younger and fresher; some were scholars whose exposure to Paganism had been mainly in the context of their studies rather than in situ, so to speak.  But Margot and I were old-timers by that time, and both of us are talkers and really relish stories about our communities.  Oh, the stories we shared at that lively dinner!  Our gales of laughter sometimes became too loud for a shared public space.[2]

When I last saw Margot, at PantheaCon 2014, she was constantly in demand so I didn’t intrude.  However, I was pretty sure our paths wouldn’t cross again in this life.  So before the con was over, I found a brief moment to embrace her and tell her how much I treasured her.  I’m really glad I had that opportunity.

Crones

We were enjoying the CoG reception at PantheaCon 2013 when someone called for a group shot of the crones in attendance.  There was lots of passing around of people's cameras; these are the shots that were captured in mine.  It's really hard to get people to all be looking at the camera for a group shot.  

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Front row: Anna Korn, Glenn Turner; back row: Magenta Griffin, Rachael Watcher, Macha NightMare, Selena Fox, Vivianne Crowley, and Margot Adler

Late.  Late.  Late.  Late.  Late.  Late.  Do you notice how often my references are to folks who have crossed over?  Six cites!  I see many of Pagandom’s early pioneers passing through the veil.  It is my fervent hope that their work, the examples of the lives they led, their teachings, their spirits survive into the future as foundational to contemporary American Paganism.

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[1]   That ritual was reprised, by request, at MerryMeet in Saratoga a couple years later, only Sharon wasn’t available so Sequoia took the priestess role originally performed by Sharon.

[2]   I remember that the late Judy Harrow was also at that Annual Meeting, and we had shared dinner the night before, but she wasn’t at this particular table.

PantheaCon -- Part III

Jo-Ann Byers-Mierzwicki, Corby Lawton, me, Tony Mierzwicki

If readers are confused, PantheaCon – Part II, is about veils.

Saturday began with breakfast Jessie Olson, who explained her Cornerstone Pagan Fellowship being launched at PantheaCon in a welcoming hospitality suite I’d visited the previous night.  I’m down with their motto of “Making the Old Ways New,” but less enthusiastic about “Let’s make Paganism mainstream!”  I question whether that goal is either something to strive for or realistic.  Having said that, I do hope – and work for – Pagans achieving visibility and respect in the wider world.  I wish Cornerstone good luck.

Sometimes making it to a presentation at the appointed time is difficult.  Restaurant service can be slow; we can get deeply engaged in discussion with an individual or small group; and sometimes we just need a break.

I wasn’t able to make any of the 7 pm programs, although I was drawn to “Dancing with the Elements: A Magical Bellydance Show.”  Unfortunately that was one of the offerings that was closed once it began.  I guess it was big magic.

Remembering Our Forebears

I noted there was “A Wake for Hyperion,” put on by The Unnamed Path Brotherhood.  I didn’t know Hyperion in life, but I can see what a profound influence he had on many Pagans so I was heartened that they created a special memorial in this large venue.

Years ago after my friend John Patrick McClimans died, his photo graced the registration area over which he’d presided when he was alive.  I also missed seeing Barbara Glass.  We’re losing so many of our “founders” (by which I mean early Pagan presences, teachers, and activists).  I miss Sequoia and Bone Blossom, Judy Foster and Raven Moonshadow, Alison Harlow, Beki Fillipello, Tara Webster, Tyrell O’Neill, Moher Downing and Luanne Blaich, and so many others.  On the feedback form I suggested that PantheaCon have a room dedicated to our Beloved Dead so an altar containing photos of these departed loved ones can be erected and maintained throughout the Con, enabling mourners to honor them, as well as providing an ongoing link to our Pagan history.  I’m aware of two or three people who attended PantheaCon this year who are unlikely to be there next year.  Further, I hope to be remembered by my Pagan communities when I’m gone.  I’m in no hurry, but in only 29 years I’ll have reached 100, if I make it, so…..

* * * * *

I reluctantly passed on Tempest and Nathaniel’s “Dreaming the Raven: A Morrigan Dance Ritual” (belly dance), which appealed to me because of my personal affinity for the Phantom Queen and because I seldom see Tempest and enjoy her dancing.

That same evening I also missed “Sekhmet Empowerment Ritual: Claim Your Power,” intriguing because of a very powerful experience I had with Sekhmet at Her temple in Nevada.

Instead, I visited various suites and schmoozed.  Had a fun time in the ADF suite with Sean Harbaugh of the Sierra Madrone Grove, William Ashton from Denver, and others whose names elude me.  It was fun to tell them of Cherry Hill Seminary’s “Sacred Lands and Spiritual Landscapes” symposium, co-sponsored the University of South Carolina and featuring noted British historian Ronald Hutton, last year, and the fact that the papers delivered there will appear in book form shortly, under the aegis of ADF Publishing.  Here’s an informative report from one Druid’s perspective.

Since I’m a part of two, and sometimes all, of the three sponsors in the Pagan Scholars Den, I hied myself to that suite for the Pagan History Project’s meet-and-greet.  Unfortunately, we had a lot of technical problems with the screening part; however, we made up for those problems with fun conversation.

SUNDAY

Over (1) “Second Generation Paganism,” because I’m interested in the overall health of our communities, and their sustainability; (2) “Hypatia’s Ancient Spiritual Magic for Modern Times,” because Hypatia is our Guardian Ancestor at Cherry Hill Seminary, and a fascinating woman; and (3) “The Etruscan Discipline and the Oracle of Geomancy,” with Murtagh anDoile (the only one of those three presenters I had any familiarity with), I opted instead for “Pagans and Institution Building” with Amy Hale.  Judging by the good turnout on the first thing Sunday morning, and the discussion this presentation engendered, this topic is one whose time has come for Pagans.  Well, it’s obvious I’ve been on that bandwagon for many years now, since I’ve been active (and sometimes inactive) in CoG since 1981, active in various interfaith groups and activities for 10 or 15 years, and deeply committed to making CHS a sustainable institution for scholarly- and/or service-inclined Pagans since circa 2000.  Most recently I’ve joined in the work of the Pagan History Project.  I’m always interested to see how others set these things up.  As it turned out, this was mainly a launch for the Pantheon Foundation, as expected.

I’ve seen Pagans attempting to establish various kinds of institutions for decades.  Most are worthy dreams that don’t end up finding themselves grounded in the reality of nonprofit institution building.  We have tons of talent, lots of brainpower, plenty of enthusiasm, yet I feel that some of us end up working at cross-purposes.  Or stepping on each other’s toes.  Ideally, I’d like to see more collaboration and mutual support.  I wish the Pantheon Foundation good luck.  I wish the same for the newly established Cornerstone Pagan Fellowship (also launched at PCon this year), the Temple of Witchcraft, and all the other Pagan institutional endeavors.

Lots of reports, experiences, opinions, and deconstruction have already been posted on several blogs about the “Wiccanate privilege” discussion held in the CoG/NROOGD/NWC hospitality suite on Sunday afternoon.  As a Witch (technically not a Wiccan) who’s been active in interfaith efforts locally and nationally, of course it concerns me if other Pagans feel un- or misrepresented in those fora.  I went and listened attentively.  I’ll contribute my tuppence about the “Wiccanate privilege” discussion in a subsequent blog. 

Finding My Footing

Painting by Barbara Jacobsen

Ch-ch-changes.

If you've been reading the Broomstick Chronicles with any regularity -- I post infrequently -- you're aware that in August of 2012 I disaffiliated from what I'll call my 'matrix community,' Reclaiming (San Francisco, the matrix, and offshoots of that matrix) -- after more than 30 years of doing what I could to help create and establish a community, one that evolved into a tradition in its own right, one that contains roles and practices that I had a hand in, and a statement of Principles of Unity that I helped articulate, bylaws I helped write, a 501(c)(3) tax status that I helped to acquire, and, not least, having taught magic and ritual to people who went on to claim the appellation Witch.

In many ways I experienced this as an amputation or a cutting adrift, an unmooring, although now that I look back, I can see there wasn't much of a dock to which to moor.  I can now forgive myself for being blinded by idealism.

I've always felt a sort of honorary membership in the Paganistan community.1  I've felt welcome among the Seattle Pagan Scholars.  I've enjoyed my involvement in the Pagan Studies Section (and others) of the American Academy of Religion and the Claremont Pagan Studies Conference.  My more recent work with the inmates of the Wiccan circle at San Quentin State Prison has been a rewarding challenge. The work I've done in the area of local and regional interfaith has taught me much and in a sense mellowed me.  I believe my involvement has benefited Pagans of all religious expressions.  That's satisfying.

Most satisfying of all are the years I've spent helping to establish a Pagan seminary, not to parrot overculture models, but to explore our roots in an academic mode, and to prepare Pagans who wish to serve their communities to do so more knowledgeably and more effectively.  The good folks, nearly all of whom except faculty are volunteers, who work to make Cherry Hill Seminary happen maintain their focus on CHS' visions and goals regardless of minor disagreements from time to time.  In other words, they're mature adults who play well with others.

I do all those things under the auspices of either CoG or CHS.  That's community, of course, but establishing a respected Pagan presence in interfaith, academia, and beyond, is work I've been doing more or less independently all along regardless.  Opportunities have arisen from these activities, and I mean to take advantage of them when they come my way.

In any case, for the past 18 months I've been seeking to regain my footing.  I've been feeling wobbly.  I've opened myself to see if and how I might reestablish a sense of belonging, a sense of community.  

I found the beginnings of a sense of belonging to something I'll call a 'meta-community' at PantheaCon in San Jose in February.  Spending last weekend with the wonderful folks at Sacred Space Conference in Maryland sealed the deal.  I'm a Witch at Large, an activist on behalf of Pagandom beyond Craft or tradition.  My 'meta-community' has transformed me from Witch to welcome presence almost anywhere.

Not only that, but I've been here in this meta-place all along!

~~~~~~~~
1.  In the late '90s some members of Northern Dawn Local Council of CoG proposed making me an honorary member.

On Veils, from PantheaCon

This photo is from a commercial source selling hijabs for girls.

Picking up where I left off my previous blog about PantheaCon –

On Saturday evening I went to a workshop called “Taking Up the Veil,” with Xochiquetzal Duti Odinsdaughter.[1]  The description in the program intrigued me:

“A growing movement among pagan [sic] women is a turning towards modest apparel, veiling, or in some way shielding the corporal body as honor to the Divine.  In this exploratory class we’ll try some veiling techniques, discuss methodology of veiling form a Pagan perspective[,] and some of us might even develop a deeper meaning to our practices…”

I love veils in general.  I especially like to wear one over my head and face when meditating or doing other ‘still’ work such as “anchoring.”[2]  I also find veils very useful in ritual when one is embodying a divine entity; with the veil, others see no mortal face.  Not my face or your face or the face of anyone they know in the mundane world beyond the particular sacred circle space to which that divine entity has been called forth.  Similar to working with masks, the veil both distances and brings closer in strange ways.

This workshop, scheduled on prime time Friday night, appealed to plenty of people, all women, but for one brave man (presenting as a man in jeans, T-shirt, unshaven and makeup-free), who came because he’s a cross-dressed and clothing and adornment evidently appeal to him.  My friend Serena Toxicat always lights up a space when she’s present, although with her uniquely Goth approach she may be intending to darken it.

Xochiquetzal began by speaking of modesty and dressing in solidarity with Muslim women.  She mentioned how adolescent females are excessively sexually objectified in our society, and how comforting it is to wear loose-flowing clothing and a head covering.  I completely agree with this second point.  How many of us would have welcomed being able to hide our bodies when we were out in public as we adjusted to its changing into that of a woman.

On her first point, however, I have a different, and very strongly held, perspective.

Some years ago in an online group called Our Freedom: A Pagan Civil Rights Coalition a younger woman suggested the very same thing, wearing head coverings in solidarity with Muslim women (at least those who were forced to wear hijab).  Again, I am all for solidarity with oppressed sisters, but I think the situation is more nuanced than a simple black-and-white “Let’s cover our heads in solidarity.”  After all, Roman Catholic nuns, along with royalty throughout Europe, were compelled to cover their heads in various ways, in the former denoting a pledge of celibacy (or life-long virginity if it’s not too late), and in the latter, relative social status.

To that suggestion on that list, both Phyllis Curott and I, who are just under a decade apart in age, objected.  We felt we’d struggled too hard to free ourselves from so many, many, many restrictions placed upon women in the society in which we’d grown up.  I grew up wearing girdles, hose with a seam up the back, garter belts (talk about uncomfortable[3]), shaved legs and underarms, sleeping in metal, brush, plastic, or bobby-pinned curlers.

Girl children in my day seldom wore pants, and never were allowed to wear them to school.  Never!  Dresses and skirts only.  As any active person knows, dresses and skirts can cramp you style if you’re climbing trees or playing on a play structure.  In Winter we wore two-piece woolen snowsuits, with our skirts either tucked into the pants when we went outdoors, thereby wrinkling, or flounced out over the bottoms like a peplum.

Modesty, a quality Xochiquetzal rightly extolled, was something that was forced upon girls of my generation (during and just after WW-II).  Our quite necessary response was to go for uppity (rebelliously self-assertive; not inclined to be tractable or deferential).

There was even a time in my lifetime when there were ‘public’ places, such as restaurants, pubs, and clubs, where women were not permitted to enter, or, if it was a really progressive place, a woman could come in if she were accompanied by a male patron, and even then, she had to remain seated at a table and could not approach the bar to place an order.  This was in San Francisco, folks!  And it wasn’t all that long ago.

But back to the workshop -- Xochiquetzal demonstrated various ways to wrap veils and headscarves, and most of us tried those techniques. I find many ways of dressing the head (not hair) very beautiful.  She spoke of different purposes, such as shielding the most emphatic among us from jarring and/or toxic.  These are all good reasons.  I, however, feel confined and restricted when my head is bound.  I seldom even wear hats, except for protection from sun and sometimes rain.  But sometimes I do wear veils, as I mentioned above.

She also spoke a bit about the sexuality implied in hair, especially thick, long tresses.  For much of my adult life I wore my hair long, and I felt it to be very sexual, though I liked it for other aesthetic reasons as well.  I made do with tying it back on the nape of my neck when I was doing things it interfered with.  I loved all this talk.

There was one woman there who seemed to bring with her something of a party attitude, as she frequently interrupted Xochiquetzal’s talking, and others who tried to speak.  She may have been ‘three sheets to the wind,’ I’m not sure.  In any case, the presenter handled these interruptions gracefully.

This workshop discussion underscores the value of, and need for, increased and more frequent inter-generational conversation about our worlds and our Paganisms.

Highlight

Which brings me to the real highlight, for me, of my having attended this workshop.

Understand that I’d come to PCon after a drastic disaffiliation from my ‘home community’ and another set of misunderstandings/disapprovals over the past year-plus, so I’ve been processing those changes and contemplating what my place might be, if any, in the Pagan world I love so much.

At one point Xochiquetzal recognized my raised hand, so I began to speak and was interrupted.  She then stated to the group something complimentary about me.  I was amazed!  I didn’t even know she’d any idea of who I am.  But she did, and she said it loud and clear.  It sure felt good to hear her speak.  Not only was this incident a highlight of Xochiquetzal’s workshop; for me it was a blazing highlight of the whole Con.

I’m thinking of a possibility we’d both articulated at the time, that we might have a mutually enlightening conversation about the matter of veils, along generational lines.  I could even see a colloquy between us that could be formatted into a more formal article.

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[1]   Gods, what a splendid name!

[2]    A sort of dropping-and-centering awareness technique used in some larger rituals to help maintain the focus of everyone present on the larger working of the group; something like a tent pole (holding the space up) and/or pegs (keeping the space anchored and contained).

[3]   None of this even begins to address the advances made in menstrual care products.  Some methods used before the advent of sanitary pads that adhere to one’s underwear were downright tortuous!

PantheaCon upon Reflection

Corby & Me, photo by Tony Mierzwicki

Thursday Night thru Saturday Afternoon

To avoid the hassle of driving busy Bay Area freeways during the day, and because I’m not an early riser, I drove down to San Jose late Thursday evening.  I anticipated that this would allow me a few more leisurely visits with other early arrivers, especially those from afar, before the Con got nuts.  I was right.

I had printed out schedules of the events I was most drawn to ahead of time, together with some hospitality suite schedules and meal dates made in the previous weeks.  Over the years I’ve relaxed my schedule by not applying to do a presentation of any kind, rather only sitting on panels now and then when asked, or performing a ritual role when invited to do so.  I try to get to the most appealing presentations, but some of them are too crowded.  I know that some of them I can see at other venues.  If I happen to get involved in a compelling discussion or a tête-à-tête and miss something I wanted to attend, I can follow where I’m drawn, or I can break away if I absolutely have to be somewhere.  This year I played it loose.

Since our room reservation began on Friday night, Jeffrey and I stayed in a room with Angela and Merry.  They’re always fun and we laughed plenty.

On Friday morning Brandy Williams, Ted Gill and I enjoyed a long overdue catch-up.  Brandy gave me some clarity and encouragement about a writing project; I’ve been working on it this week. 

I attended the CoG meet & greet in the CoG/NROOGD/NWC suite in the afternoon, thus fulfilling my NCLC-CoG annual attendance requirement (not that that will be the only Local Council meeting I attend this year).  Pleasant, no drama, how nice!

As the first programs were being offered, I was considering one called “The Ephesia Grammata” given by P. Sufenas Virius Lupus, mainly because I’d been following, and only mildly engaged but very interested in, the feedback on “Don Frew on saving Pagan lives, ‘Wiccan privilege’ and interfaith” at Gus diZerega’s Pointedly Pagan blog at Patheos, I was planning to join a gathering to discuss matters therein face-to-face in the CoG suite later in the weekend, and thought I might take this opportunity to learn more.  More about that below.

“A Thousand Ways: Exploring Devotional Ritual Models,” by Silence Maestas was in the same time slot.  Considering what I’ve been working on (“Cultivating Bhakti”), that subject tipped the balance and that’s where I went.  Her delivery was clear, if a bit rushed for having so much ground to cover in a 90-minute session and still allowing a little time for Q&A.  I took notes and gained some different perspectives.  It was well worth my time.

Five programs interested me in the late afternoon time slot, including Richard Reidy’s and Brandy’s.  However, as a goddess-oriented Feminist Witch in service to the all-male Wiccan circle I visit in San Quentin, I’ve become more aware of wanting to seek worthy models and views of male deities.  So I arrived a bit late for Jason Mankey’s talk “Finding the God: Male Archetypes of Deity in the Craft.”  I was disappointed.

I must have been doing other things when Gus diZerega introduced his new book, Fault Lines: The Sixties, the Culture Wars, and the Return of the Divine Feminine.  I’ve been reading parts of earlier iterations of this work, and, having lived a life that fits into the title, I’m eager to read it.  I bought a copy from Gus later in the weekend.

In something of a blur of meals, socializing, and visiting hospitality suites, I arrived late for Holly Tannen’s and Ruth Barrett’s concert.  This is one performance I try always to see.  I recommend it to newer attendees and others unfamiliar with their work.  Luckily I’d chatted with Holly earlier, and had a fine visit with Ruth and Falcon the next day.

I’m happy to report the return of Clifford Hartleigh Low‘s Green Fairy Party, consistently one of the best parties ever.  Had a great chat with joi wolfwomyn out on the balcony and another with holy man origynal sinnerjee a bit later.  Friday turned out to be my biggest party night.

Saturday morning, what a conundrum!  Nine presentations I wanted to attend, including the panel on sacrifice, which later heard was outstanding; one on memory; one on “Rethinking Community for the Solitary Pagan”[1]; and Sabina Magliocco’s on animal spirits.[2]

My sweetie Corby was coming down for the day especially to attend the Turning Earth Singers’ workshop.  He is joining that group, and they are lucky!  He has sound musical training and a beautiful, strong baritone.  However, he got lost and phoned me in frustration.  When he finally arrived, that event was over; meanwhile, I missed all of them.

We passed on “Hekate in Turkey” with Don Frew and Anna Korn, because we’ve seen much of it and can see it another time. Also passed on Orion Foxwood’s talk because it’s my policy to avoid standing in lines whenever possible and I’m not comfortable in overcrowded spaces.  I’ll see him In March anyway when we’re both presenting at the Sacred Space Conference.  Instead, we went to Sam Webster’s “Tantric Invocation of Hermes.”  We both like Hermes a lot, and we’ve worked with Sam and his late wife Tara on Hermes and Hekate New Moon devotionals in the past, so we expected it to be time well spent.

Again, the “Wiccan circle” at San Quentin hungers for more about the gods, Thoth/Hermes/Mercury in particular.  I think I can bring them Sam’s detailed handout in order for them to learn that process.  Of course, I’ll check with Sam for permission first, but since he’s an open source kind of fellow, I think he’ll be amenable.

Saturday afternoon I was interested in Timotha Doane’s and Kristen Olivers’s “Hekate: Witness and Ally, and Jeffrey Albaugh’s on working with folktale. I couldn’t bring myself to a presentation on privilege that claims to have a “Kick-Ass Panel.”  I knew I’d hear plenty about it later anyway, because I’d planned to go to the discussion in the CoG suite about “Wiccanate privilege” in interfaith.  We ended up hanging out, wandered the vendors’ room, and chatted with various friends.

After dinner Corby went home.  By then it was too late to get into Chrisopher Penczak’s “The Sabbat of the Mighty Dead,” which interested me because of my own understanding of, relationships with, and experiences of what I call the Mighty Dead.  I know others hold different concepts about the meaning of that term.  Not only am I interested in all of them, but I also like to take advantage of the opportunity to participate in the rituals of others who have different styles of performing.

Saturday night onward in subsequent blog.

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[1]   I do not currently have a single magical working group to which I belong, although I’ve never been a solitary in the sense of practicing alone.  I’ve always preferred to meet with others.  I still do mainly work with others, only as a guest or for a special ritual of one kind or another.  Rather than calling myself a by the inaccurate term solitary, I tend to refer to myself as a floater.

[2]   Sabina’s presentations are always deep, rich, and fascinating.  Also crowded, which means I sometimes pass because I can see her elsewhere.